Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize