so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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