When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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