pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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