do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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