Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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