There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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