apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
don't judge my taste in strippers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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