Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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