so explain again why im purple
no
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
