he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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