Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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