Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
