That's intense
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
