Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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