By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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