what day is it and did you see me today?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize