At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
