I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
