Duck Duck Cougar?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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