You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That accounts for only three of the penises
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
