hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
