I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
