David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
