Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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