We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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