Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
