i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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