quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
