I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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