The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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