M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
