I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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