the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
