I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
