Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
