I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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