No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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