It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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