Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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