Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize