Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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