I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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