How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
