it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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