she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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