but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
