I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We're too hungover to prance.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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