I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
