Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
