i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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