i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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