He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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