im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
