Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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