I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
