Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize