we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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