Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
