we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
