So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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