i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
