just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
